Narcoleptic Nookie

So I recently got all up in ya biz, and you weren’t the least bit offended. You bunch of blabbers!

And among the comments was an interesting anonymous inquiry, which also requested my insight. It said:

You know I want to know if you watched "Grey's Anatomy" and if you did, what's your take on falling asleep while making love? I loved how Doc told his gf "But I wasn't done yet."I had a gf who claims after we broke up that she fell asleep one time while I was giving her head. Her ass was wincing and moaning all the other times, but claims that one time she was tired her ass fell asleep.Then there's my friend who had a bf tell her she couldn't go to sleep till he got his.I know you gots sumthin to say. Bring it. ~Anon

First to answer your question, Anon, I’m a fan of Grey, albeit a sporadic viewer at best. I personally am an L-Word fanatic, so since I don’t have Tivo there was always a schedule conflict. But when the L-Word season ended (to hell with cable series that try to pass 5 sorry episodes off as a complete season…then have the NERVE to sell it at full price on DVD), I did try to catch Grey, cause the writing and acting are great and I love that the creator is a sista.

I say all that to say that I missed this particular episode ::frown:: (but the 2-part finale was off tha chain…Izzie is a nut…McDreamy is a dick…is there something a bit, dare I say, neo-Ally McBeal (in a good way, like seasons 1&2 Ally...before Taye Diggs), about Meredith...and the azzhole doc is sexy!).

But that does not preclude me from having an opinion on falling asleep while you fuckin’.

First off, you must be just “ucking” if you fall asleep before the “season finale” if you know what I mean.

I’m not much of a self pleaser, but I have been known to wake up with “Henry” still in my hands, and my panties at my knees. Does that count?

I’m also an advocate of drunk sex [disclaimer: not to be confused with drunk anonymous sex. That’s for hoes.], so I imagine this may have happened before but I prolly passed out before I could commit the ep to memory.

But that is one damn good reason that I could think of that would sincerely justify hitting the snooze button. Drunk people fall asleep at the wheel so why not on all fours??

But surely there are other good reasons…

You ever have a really nice evening out with your lover? You do the whole ‘come home from work on a Thursday, get dressed up, go somewhere and show off, maybe a film screening or Broadway, then hit a great restaurant and laugh and chair-dance the night away’. Then you decide to walk a few blocks to work off the coffee and dessert you shared.

Then you get back to the crib and you are just so aligned, so in tune, so horny…yet so sleepy from the thought of tomorrow morning’s staff meetings.

You jump in the shower together (bec you KNOW that if he goes first you’ll be knocked out by the time he's done and vice versa), get out and lotion each other, wrap your hair, turn on the TV and catch the tail end of the news, and lay up holding each other, so high from the night out with your boo.

So you start the rubbing, his skin starts to radiate heat, and you kind of regret writing a check your azz might have problems cashing. His deep moans commingle with yawns, but he loves the way your manicured fingertips scrape his chest, and like you, he tries desperately to fight the sleep and enjoy it.

The boxers start to tent, and you’re intoxicated by the scent of Dial soap on his freshly hydrated skin. You mount him, all the while giggling about the theater usher who bust his azz showing ya’ll to the mezzanine. The kisses are intense, and Colgate flavored. His warm hands on your azz contrast lovely with the cool air drifting in from the window.

You wanna go there but your body has other ideas. That morning’s cardio is sinking in; shit, that cappuccino was decaf.

He feels an obligation to your satisfaction when he reaches between your hot thighs and wades in the water.

So he takes a deep breath and submerges in it.

And it’s good, cuz it’s always good. He’s trying to take his time and you’re trying to maneuver him to your spot. His tongue has that certain swagger and settles into a relaxing rhythm. Your body gives in to the goodness, your chest heaving, your hips exaggerating cuz you wanna cum quick.

But it’s exhausting and good all at once. Your mind wanders to a lovely place, where you’re riding a wave of relaxation. A cloud of stillness. A house of dreams...

No, you’re literally dreaming…about your man giving you the business down there.

Your azz is asleep.

So to answer the question, Anonymous: Yes, I gots something to say.

I need a nap.