How Wise is "So...Wise"? 4

Part I
Part II
Part III



Part IV: "Wise Matters"

So he’s gone back to Detroit, and what follows is an intense barrage of constant phone calling, text msgs and emails, now even more sprawling and revealing. Daily. We leave no stone unturned in our communication. We discuss our connection, our fears, our fate, our daily stresses and successes, our fav sexual positions. I imagine him in all of them, not just for the sport and pleasure of his maintenance, but because I’m falling for him and know that doing him will be much more than a conquest to discuss later.

But alas, we’re both attached. He confides in detail now that his relationship has always been faulty. They became exclusive just before he was shipped back to Detroit by his job. I’ll never forget him saying it wasn’t “serious.”

I call him on it.

“How the hell is an exclusive relationship not serious?”

He explains in this actual email [note from Wise: I'm really not as psycho as this may appear. AOL auto saves all incoming and outgoing emails. No, for real...I'm serious. And don't act like you don't have a special saved folder from your special someone, dammit!] :

"Wise,

My life was normal before last Friday [ed.'s note: 4th of July weekend] now it's filled with drama :) lol I'm just kidding, some drama is worth having. I think I've had the best time I've had in a while with someone and I thank you for that sweetie. I meant it when I said I could of stayed at your place all weekend and just talked to you and would of been content. You are so amazing to me. You have everything I look for in a woman and I feel so at home with you, when I'm around you or talk to you. I hate to think like this but I really do feel to some extent that I'm out of my league when it comes to you, I'm still shocked that you are actually feeling me like that...wait, what am I talking about, I know I'm a pimp, shoot :) J/K [NOTE FROM WISE: HELLLLO! Can you understand why he's perfect for me? SO damn corny and adorable!!] for real though your level of intelligence, your beauty, your sexiness(you are sexy as hell I hope you know), your sweetness, kindness, caring, etc, etc, etc it's been a while since I've felt like this and it feels good.

So many questions and uncertainty are still out there though. Every day that passes by the more and more the realization of how difficult this is (will be) sets in. I know there many things that need to resolved. From there what's next. Something that makes me cringe is that when you look at the facts things don't really look too good for me (if I were in your shoes looking at me). Commitment/relationship issues, long distance issues, open communication issues(which I haven't had with you).Whichever path we take I don't want it to be filled with drama. I'm not one to look for it but it seems to follow me a bit :)

You're totally right about the 'casual' thing. I wouldn't want to do that. I care for(wow) and respect you waaaaay to much for you to just mess around with you. If we have something together I know it would be something special, something serious. But I do know I wouldn't be ready to rush things initially..I would want to take them slow and let things run their course. I've been burned by getting into situations like that without really understanding the whats/whys/hows of my wants and what I could provide to the relationship. Going into them blindly. Just like you said that you've had a tumultuous year on the relationship tip I have had one too(that's somewhat what we got into last night).

When I broke up from my relationship about a year ago...The girl in Chicago was around as a friend who was very interested. It could of been a rebound thing and even though we said we were still just friends we didn't act like it by the amount of time we spent together and our actions. Before you knew it I was in a situation that I didn't know how I got in but I was comfortable in because of the type of person she was. But I didn't feel like this was it, this was my ultimate connection/love of my life. I was content and happy that's probably why I thought it was ok to enter the relationship.

Maybe I spoiled everything because I wasn't ready to enter that relationship to begin with and I never allowed myself to have those stronger feelings for her, which she has for me. And it was too late to gain them by the way it started, dating other people because we weren’t exclusive, then deciding to be together but having to deal with the long distance even though a strong foundation wasn't there. Thinking that I need to move on but having an uncertainty of what will happen once that is done or (is it the right move?) Like you said last night it's not fair to be with someone b/c they're so into you when you might not have the same exact feelings. When I say I feel like such a bad person sometimes that's a perfect example of why. I don't want to put you (or myself) through anything like this so we'd have to take our time and figure out what's really best for us or how it could be done. Is this the right time? I guess there never is a right time you just have to go with your heart.

With all that said how do you really feel about this weekend and her coming?..answer only if you want to or feel comfortable. As far as your situation I feel like the less I know the better...I feel I don't want to pry (or know really) b/c I trust what you're feelings are for me and that's all that matter to me. Anything else will be resolved when we know where we're at with each other.

Well that felt better getting a lot of that out. Another long ass email that's all over the place, you know how I do ma ;) I'm hoping this doesn't confuse you more or scare you a bit. I just want to be open and honest with you hon. I don't want to sugar-coat anything because you deserve to know it all. Well I need to go...Write back when you can...I'll be looking forward to it :) Have a great day Ms. Sista.
~Ford

Well damn. Who wouldn't be gassed?

One of the things I love about him is that he’s not a player, not out trying to run game (and thank God, cuz as you can see, shorty has NONE). And he's keeping it real, which is a requirement when dealing with me. He acknowledges the difficulties and isn't trying to hide details to use as refuge later on. So I trust him. I trust that despite the challenges, despite the relationships we're both in, and despite the distance, we BOTH want to try... so it's now safe to let my guard down (something I RARELY do). It's real, it's intense and it's worth pursuing. Because I believe that he’s honest, and definitely because he’s saying what I want to hear. And dammit, because this feeling he's awakened in me just feels so GOOD.

Now me, I’m in a “relationship” that was faulty at best. It’s one of those things that had gone on too long, and for that reason is difficult to let go. But there’s no love, it’s very complicated and becoming mostly a struggle. So Ford is not only my dream guy, but he also becomes my savior. Right on time. He would come and rescue me from another pointless relationship. Resurrect me.
So for several months our communication grows stronger, and we get closer. We coordinate our schedules and travel home at the same time in order to see each other. He’s relentless in expressing his feelings for me. In touting me as the woman of his dreams. Of acknowledging that he loves all of the things about me that I love about myself.

Thank you notes and thinking of you cards sent in the mail.

Really sweet morning text messages in French (thank God for translation websites!)

Hours of pillow talk.

And it’s sincere. It’s pure and fun. It’s on a whole 'nother level from what I’ve become accustom to in dating. He’s living proof that there are good guys out there. He’s attractive, intelligent, cultured, well-traveled, grounded, funny, outgoing, ambitious, can appreciate women without being doggish, and most of all is emotionally available, which is HIGH on my must-have list.

He’s not ‘center of attention guy’, which is usually what I attract, because of my own personality. But I’m really loving the fact that he’s low-key – almost shy even, yet really outgoing. And I’m REALLY loving the attention, the affection and the genuine lust he has for me.

Needless to say, I fall in love with dude. I never utter it to anyone but myself...but convey it in the type of attention, support and affection I send back his way.

And soon I'm taken aback when he informs me that he is breaking it off with Chicago chick.

...keep scrolling down...it gets "better"...PART V: THE FINALE