Things You Don’t About Wise…That I Havent Already Told Y’all Nosy Azzes
I was born in a hospital. No midwife.
One of my brothers was a breach baby. That shit is hilarious to me for some reason.
When I was little I used to battle this girl named Larri on the bus. My brother wrote my rhymes. I used to also perform for all the class parties.
My friends and I once broke into our church and ate the snacks.
My cell phone carrier is Sp!nt. I have unlimited text msgs.
I really wanna fcuk Regg!e Bush. Really.
I prefer tamp0ns to woman diapers.I write for magazines and books.
I'm lazy. Once got fired for it.
I'm obsessed with sweet potato fries.
I once had a dance off with Shaq. He won.
My right tit is bigger than the left.
I think I'm lactose intolerant.
Like I said, what haven’t I already told you??
Ya know how bl0ggers do that thing where they invite everyone to ask them questions?
Eff that. Don't ask me shit.
I'm kidding.
Ask away.
In the meantime, I wanna run something by y’all…
We been talking about ambiguous muhfcukas. Ya know, the guy who says one thing and does another. My Neil suggests that guilt is a major motivation in such behavior. I can get behind that theory. Makes sense when you consider how many bitches simply act an azz so that a girl will break up with him so that he doesnt have to break up with her…
But what about friendships? I mean, sure it’s tough to get out of a relationship, but how do you get out of a friendship? They’re supposed to be unconditional and unbreakable and shit, right? Real ones, anyways.
Well, I have a friend who has outgrown a friend and wants to “platonically break up.” But how do you explain to someone (who you’re not fcuking), that you’ve outgrown them? Someone who has had your back…that you don’t feel the same need or even desire to talk or hang out daily. That you have outgrown the friendship.
Particularly when they are still holding on for dear life.
I don’t really know how to counsel my friend.
Damn, I wonder if they asked bec they’re trying to get rid of me…
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16 comments:
Eps doesn't respect many people, he's ignant like that, HaHa.
LoL @ ur responses.
I'm perplexed by the following:
how your brother being a breach baby is funny, explain, is there a visual image that goes with this?
how you know your right tit, is bigger than ur left? Check that, I guess a woman knows her body, its still perplexing.
And I now want to try sweet potato fries.
I say you get rid of a friend like you'd get rid of that boyfriend or girlfriend whose overstayed their welcome.
I still prefer the direct approach, as in have that dreaded convo where you lay out that you need space, why you need space, and if need be what severing ties means.
WHY is he so delicious. that BODY!!!! WOW!! who cares abt your cell phone plan. better be glad that wasn't one of the five. you did not let giant ass shaq win a dance off!! it has to be the faces he makes... did he do the worm like he did at the all star game? IGNORANT!!! huh... larious.
k... as the professional friend breaker upper (apparently) let me help. i've actually had to cut off two people in the last several months. its not at all easy. and i didn't do it b/c i'm an asshole. one refuses to be happy and likes to bring others down with her. i couldn't take it anymore. she couldn't even let me be happy, overjoyed and ebulliant in my relationship w/o making me feel guilty about it. the other we just really grew apart and couldn't connect. she didn't know me and accused me of not knowing her.
point. i tried just not talking but people get real indignant about that ish. the first thing to remember... THERE IS NO GOOD WAY TO END A FRIENDSHIP. folk will be mad. they will probably curse you out which can make it easier for you and harder at the same time.
if they get nasty (likely) you can do it back or ignore them or both. i had to do both. i was mean and then ended it before either was ready. it sucks. and there ain't no good way to do it esp. when you have mutual friends. everyone else feels awkward. but you survive.
Lol @ your dance off with Shaq.
Getting out of a friendship can be tricky. If you have a lot of mutual friends then it can get even worse with the friend attempting to drag them into all of the drama. Try to just establish some distance, or pawn her off on someone else you don't really like either.
Friendships I needed to get out of always happened naturally. I'd start going places they didn't want to be. I'd hang with other people more and more. I'd opt out of stuff they wanted to do. Then one day I'd look up and notice that I just wasn't friends with that person anymore.
However, I'm the type that only even calls my best friend to lock down plans or pass info...so it's easy for me to lose someone. I've dropped 5 people at once in the past.
If the honest approach won't work then I agree with Amadeo. Just start doing stuff the other person doesn't like to do, hang with other people and forget to invite, forget to call and forget to return a call, whenever they call always be busy. After a while that behavior will speak volumes.
Cnelly says..."how your brother being a breach baby is funny, explain, is there a visual image that goes with this?"
I dunno. That shit is just funny. I just love antagonizing him, and he always gets flustered then brings up (not) funny stuff about me. Ive convinced my whole family that it's the funniest nugget in our family history.
"how you know your right tit, is bigger than ur left?"
The scale. lol
Jameil says..."who cares abt your cell phone plan."
Exactly.
" you did not let giant ass shaq win a dance off!! it has to be the faces he makes..."
No, it was his moves. He outdanced me plain and simple.
Wow you are a professional breaker upper. Problem this friend doesnt have any bad experiences with this friend. They're just growing apart, well one of them is.
MizJJ...pawn em off? hahaha
Amadeo...Im the same way. I dont call nobody and have no problems not answering the phone...not exactly the way to treat the friends you DO wanna keep, but, oh well. lol
Philly...That's the exact approach this friend has taken, so far to no avail. I guess it just takes time. And I told them that it will inevitably end in a confrontation by the friend, which is exactly what they wanna avoid. :(
what makes you think you lactose intolerant?
Ask you anything well....I'll get back to you on that maybe a list...I expect a prompt reply too...*Is the left and right difference blatanly obvious?*
Hey!! I love sweet potato fries too!! As people of melanin, they are far better for us than the other variety. Also, Can you still rhyme? Im' more a jazz, worldbeat, latin jazz, brazilian beat head but I'd love to hear it from ya. By the way, the direct approach is still probably best. A situation like that could mean that the person's intrigue grew over time with contact. It happens. Peace, Axe' Anonymous Detroit.
I respect my elders, especially when they are attractive older women ;)
I do not like sweet potato fries. I just dont. I am also upset you let Shaq beat you in a dance off. Thats just hilarious. I wonder if he could beat me??
You wanna get rid of a friend? Just tell them. Thats all you can do.
Oh yeah. I am in town
That's a tough one... its hard to tell someone people things like that... but usually i let time and space take care of such things... you don't want to be mean, but you just have out grown a friendship... I simply don't call as much, or don't return their calls in a timely manner and when i do return their calls, its a brief phone call then i'm off the phone, finding a reason to get off... its not necessarily the best way, but you don't want to hurt someone's feelings, especially someone that's had you back in the past... by becoming busy with other aspects of your life, its seems like more of a natural progression and the other individual will slowly stop calling as much and thence they friendship will drift apart... trust me, i know... I've done it before...
I only go with this approach because i've tried the straight forward approach and simply said i don't want to be friends anymore, and that didn't work, so i let them think that we've naturally grown apart with placing blame on either parties... but that's just from my experiences...
~DD
me & 1 of my homegirls kinda out grew each other.. i just stopped calling all of the time.. and i wasnt available when she wanted to do something..
it's kind of hard to end a friendship on good terms.. just stay away and the other person will get the hint... if you're honest, the other person usually catches feelings and stuff hits the fan...
imo of course :-)
Im in a similar situation, except I think that both parties dont want much to do with the other, so the feelings mutual! LOL
I think it sucks, because of the past we've had, but hey, one can only take but so much pain.
DD, TTD, Lola...thanks for the break up insight. i think you're all on point.
Rev says..."what makes you think you lactose intolerant?"
You dont wanna know. But I did just have some Wendys Frosty today, so we'll see how that goes. lol
911...Next time you're with ur lady see if you can tell the diff. From what I understand many women are not perfectly symmetrial. it's not blatant, but you can tell if you care enough to study them. ;)
Anon Detroit...in my mind, i'm sure i could ghostwrite for like half the MCs in the game. lol I'm actually quite adept at freestylin when flat drunk, and my boy and i email bars to eachother and he swears i'm bitin from somewhere...even when i make references specific to him. Email me and i'll spit at you. ;)
Epsi...how long you here? Ok, wait, am i mad late?
PS...Shaq would destroy you...if for no other reason than that he's 5 times bigger than you and light as hell on his feet. I gotta tell the story soon.
...just do them like you'd dodge a dude you weren't diggin'. i know, in the grown up world you're suppose to talk about shit and put it out there for conversation/closure and whatever the hell else....but aaaaa...i don't work like that. lol
i dodge.
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