“I gotta tell you about my little boy toy, Wise,” says my girl Kells.
Yadda, yadda, yadda, he had all the vitals…ginormous genitalia, and, uh, ginormous genitalia, that’s pretty much the highlight. Oh yeah, but they also have a lot in common and have a lot of fun together.
“And how old is he?”
Then there’s another home girl, Singles, who is a bit less enthusiastic, yet every bit animated in telling me her tale.
“Young and Tasty,” is what she calls him. He’s every bit of early 20s, albeit a working professional, a co-worker no less. Again there’s talk of this young man’s endless conversational prowess, his energy, and oh, huge surprise…his seismic sexual smackdown.
Have I finally reached the age where my peers are indeed SON’ing it…as in the boy you’re fcuking could be your slightly older homegirl’s actual biological son?
What am I missing? I mean, I can imagine what I’m missing in bed, and frankly, I’m not all that pressed. Weeeeeeell, I wasn’t until the other night at this reggae spot…
This young sweetie pie stepped to me and made me re-eval…
I was sitting and sipping and he rolls up next to me all brazen like he knows me like that. Asks me if I wanna dance. When I decline, he puts his arm around me with this brash possessive air, and I was thoroughly amused. I walked his young azz into the dark Calypso room and had my way with him. I barked commands into his ear, and he obeyed, but not without defying me first. And he didn’t just do what I said, he did it like he had something to prove.
I made sure to divulge my age from jump, cuz looks can be deceiving and I knew he might take me for one of his classmates. I didn’t bother listening when he tried to tell me his age. For those secession of songs that we shared I could suddenly sense the allure. I was enchanted by his boyish charm which was really nothing more than an equation of unsophisticated sexual bravado + drive. I could see how that undivided attention could be attractive to a 30 year old woman like either of my friends, who can basically summarize the past decade with bullet points of boys who were the exact opposite.
I sustained that understanding for less than a full Red S+ripe. That’s about when he should have refreshed it. Instead he tried to kiss me then asked if I would mind if he went for a smoke.
So that just brings me back to the playground. I didn’t much care for dudes in their early 20s when I was that age, so it’s sincerely beyond me what I would do with one now. But that’s not to say that I’m passing judgment on the Son Movement. I say, whatever floats your little man in the boat. I’m just wondering why the explanation (bec yeah, one is necessary) always resembles a cartoon. Women always speak in these animated terms, and color in the descriptions of these young men with these vivid crayola caricatured brush strokes. And there’s no doubt in my mind that younger men have a lot of qualities that older dudes could stand to learn.
Just bec it’s not for me doesn’t mean that it’s not a valid and viable relationship option.
But I am fascinated by the social dynamic, particularly in my girl Kells’ case…
- Dude was her student at commun college. [problematic on too many levels, but it gets better]
- The class was Reading. [you’ll remember from undergrad that Reading means that you’re not proficient enough to enroll in English 1o1. In other words, it would prob take him an entire class period to read this entry.
- He aint all that cute. She says he has a big dizzle and all, but does that really matter if he looks like a gay Lil J0n? [ps…has anyone else noticed today that there’s a fine line in distinguishing if a guy is just young or if he’s gay…in the same way that it’s hard to tell foreign from gay? Sorry young’ens.]
- He is not just “something to do” [which is the attitude of my other friend who’s Son’ing, and which makes perfect sense to me]... Kells and lil Lil J0n are now exclusive.
But perhaps talk to me late next decade.