What About Mom?

Wise’s Mom: “Do you remember a family that used to live across the street in Miss Jean’s house when you were little, and the guy was black and the wife was white?”

Wise: “Amber and them?”

Wise’s Mom: “Yes! I was at choir rehearsal on Tuesday night and this woman comes up to me and says, ‘Are you Mrs. Wise’s Mom?’ And I said to her, ‘yes, I am.’

“And she says, ‘My family used to live across the street from you 20 years ago.’”

At this point my mom says she gave her a blank stare like, ‘wait, huh?’ But then of course she’s like, ‘oh my goodness. Wow!’

Wise’s Mom: “And it wasn’t until she said, ‘My daughter Amber used to play with Wise’ that I really remembered exactly who she was.”

Wise: “Wow. How are they doing?”

Wise Mom: “They look really good. She said Amber is married and has a little baby. She’s a teacher. And her brother is married, too.”

I paused. Suddenly sympathetic.
I wonder if my mom was sad that she didn’t have any stories to tell about MY wedding? Does she wish her youngest was married off already?

--------------------------------

Wise’s Friend Dee: “See, with an Indian family if they know you’re seeing someone for longer than 9 months and you’re not engaged they go nuts. So my parents just think Kev is my good friend from college…which is true.”

Wise: “You’ve been together 9 YEARS! They don’t know?”

Dee: “You don’t understand. I’d never hear the end of the ‘when is the wedding?’ shit. I’m surprised Jamaican moms aren’t like that.”

Wise: “Maybe they are…but my mine isn’t. She never pressures me about that stuff. Never has.”

Dee: “You’re lucky.”

Wise: “Might be becuz I’ve only ever brought home a couple of boyfriends. I don’t like to invite that kind of drama..my brothers are irrationally overprotective. Maybe also bec my sister didn’t get married until her late 30s.”

Dee: “Maybe your mom thinks you’re gay.”

--------------------------------

Wise’s Mom: “My goodness, I would love to see Amber. Oh, I have a picture of Wise right here in my wallet. See, it was taken at her commitment ceremony. She lives in San Francisco with her partner and their twin daughters.”

Old Neighbor: blank stare

--------------------------------

Poor Mom.

Granted, that’s what hometown people do when they stay in their hometown.

They get married and have babies. Young.

Granted my mom is proud of me and tells me often. She LOVES carrying around my business cards and bragging on my professional standings.

Granted, I’m pretty sure she’s never met a real lesbian much less to think that I am one.

And granted, she would never, ever tell me if she was itching to get rid of my dowry.

But damn, what if she really is secretly sad? :(

I need to get her a son in law, FAST.

PS...Dippin out to Car!bana in a few...so I'll leave you with a bonus clip (below).
Ya know, the sex one (thanks for the hook up, O.N.). That should be fun...

Got Sex?

Fairly tame.
Maybe we should all make up new questions and answer those. :)


Copy this entire list to your blog/journal. BOLD everything that is true about you. Leave plain anything that is not true about you. Put an asterisk next to anything you would like to be true.*


1. I have had sex while wearing a blindfold.

2. I have blindfolded someone else during sex.

3. I have had sex while watching porn.

4. I have had sex while surfing porn on the Internet.

5. I sleep better after sex.

6. There are some nights I cannot sleep without sex or masturbating.

7. The bed is NOT my most favorite place to have sex.

8. I am turned on knowing someone is watching me masturbate.

9. I have had sex knowing someone else was watching.

10. I have watched a couple have sex.

11. I have masturbated for someone over a web cam. *

12. I have had sex over a web cam. *

13. I have had a one night stand.

14. I have been tied up during sex.

15. I have had sex with someone who was tied up.

16. I have dripped wax onto a lover's body.

17. I have had a lover drip wax onto my body.

18. I have a foot fetish.

19. I have a leather fetish.

20. I have a tickle fetish.

21. I like being choked during sex.*

22. I have had phone sex.

23. I have erotic art on display somewhere in my residence.

24. I enjoy nudie magazines.*

25. Erotic toys are a regular part of my budget.

26. I think PLAYBOY is tame, maybe even boring.

27. I have clicked on porn links in my email.

28. I have watched more than one gay/lesbian porn video.

29. Much of what I know about sex comes from porn.

30. I have given/received a facial.

31. I think we should do more to understand the cultures of sex.

32. I would participate in sex research given the opportunity.

33. My current lover does not sufficiently meet my sexual needs.

34. I currently have a "crush" on someone of the same sex.

35. I want to have sex with someone on my blogroll.

36. I have had sex at my place of employment. *

37. I am often disappointed in my sexual relationships.

38. Some people might describe me as a nymphomaniac.

39. I am difficult to live with if I'm not having sex on a regular basis.

40. I sleep better with someone snuggled up next to me.*

41. I have had sex under water.

42. I have had sex in the snow.

43. I am in a polyamorous relationship.

44. I have to have music playing while having sex.

45. I have had more than ten orgasms in one night. *

46. I have flashed strangers.

47. I have given sex as a gift.

48. I have set-up a three-way for my lover. *

49. I have made a video having sex.*

50. I have taken nude pictures

51. I have had more than one partner in a 24 hour period

52. I am a member of the Mile-High Club.

53. I have taken a trip longer than an hour just for a booty call

54. I stopped during this list to have sex.***

i HEART white women

Just like the rest of civilization, I HEART white women. Ok that was very general, and a bit misleading. You know how black folks got white women that the community embraces? Ya know like Tina Marie, Ricki Lake, Judge Judy, Erica Cane from offa the stories, Martha Munizzi, the Chief from offa (do white folks say 'from offa'??) NY Undercover (not to be confused with the white lady from In Liv!ng Col0ur, who we also love).

Wendy.




The list goes on.

Well I have my own favs for my own personal reasons…and since white women are having a pretty rough year, what with so much attention being paid to illegals and hypersexual black women with unruly natural hair and Ar@b extremists; and then that psycho scorned astronaut chick who drove cross country in pullups casting ridicule on white women everywhere...

I'd like to pay homage and present...

My Top 5 White Women of All Time…

1. Amy Grant

Ok, for real, for real, AG is the inspiration for this post. I been rocking her HARD in the car for the past week.

Little Known Wise History Fact: Growing up the whole neighborhood went to the non-denominational church on the corner, meaning mostly white folks. And all my friends and I used to go to white church camp (I’m not talking about Vaca Bible School down at the Pentecostal, either).

This is where I was introduced and immediately began hearting AG. Like no lie, if I were to ever run into her down at the Walm@rt I would go nuts. And if ever a bride I am destined to be, there’s this AG song I’m pretty sure will accompany my sashay down the aisle.

No, I’m really not kidding. I HEART her so!

2. Julie Andrews

Ummm, I got three words for you…”Raindrops on roses…”
Enough said.

No it’s really not enough. Just like it wasn’t enough for her to be a pain in the Captain’s edelweiss…chick was also Mary effing P0ppins. Now, I don’t even mess with MP like that, but SOM is my fav movie of all time. Hands down. And she was brilliant.

She.Made.Clothes.For.Six.Bad.Ass.Kids.Out.Of.A.Curtain.

And they’re dad had dough! She’s no gold digger and that’s why I heart her.


3. The Golden Girls, but esp Betty White and Bea Arthur

And yes, they collectively count as one single selection. These chicks were divorcees and widows and they have martini night out on South Beach, and they said (i'm pretty sure it was Dorothy's idea)... you know what, this Miami real estate game is getting CRAZY. Yall wanna split up this rent? And they did the damn thing. (I can’t believe I just said ‘did the damn thing.’ But see, that’s what white women will do to you. Have you talking all out of sorts and such.)

And the GGs weren’t no catty broads either. I only remember one time they ever fought over a dude (ok, and FEW times Dorothy and Blanche bought the same dress to wear to the ball). These ladies used to bring it on home every night, fire up some warm milk and gather round the kitchen table and talk shit.

Dorothy was the brains but also the master of the straightfaced one-liner...while Rose was perhaps the greatest television idiot of all time.

And stucking with TV for a moment longer...

4. Charlotte Rae

You may know her as the quick witted foil to young G@ry Coleman.

That's right...
Mrs. Garrett.

Whatever, I’m partial to the nurturing white matriarch, or the “Whammy,” as I like to call her. She’s basically Nell Car.ter, only pale. I’m not sure if she’s dead or alive, but damn if she didn’t star in TWO hit sitcoms. That right there is the height of stardom to me. Sherman Helmsley did it. Andy Griffith did it. Robert Guillaume did it. But they didn’t do it like Mrs. Garrett!

I mean, much like Bens0n, she went from being the help, to being the boss. And in both capacities, Mrs. G. never made the knucklehead ass kids feel small for their transgressions. That meant a lot to a youngster like me with little to no supervision and no restrictions on hours of tv viewing. So Mrs. G, this one’s for you! (But if someone can take a second and goog her and find out if she had Park!nsons…cause she sure used to shake a lot.)

5. Susan B. Anthony [If the name’s not familiar, you probably failed 8th grade history (or you’re not from America), so just skip this one.]

SBA is close to my heart bec she lived most of her life in my hometown and her house still stands and fittingly, is kind of in the hood. Not only was she the first woman on American currency, but she also voted in an election before women had the right to vote. She just walked down there and dared them not to let her do it. Well, they let her, but the jakes came knocking at her door and locked her ass up that day. Her and Frederick Dougl@ss were mad cool. While most historical evidence points to her being a big lezbo, I think she was secretly into black guys.

Oh man, I could go on and on. Honorable mention shouts to:

Ellen Degen (she sure has fast feet, and she’s loves her BET)

Wonder Woman (tho, aint she part Puerto Rican?)

Kathy Griff/Jules Roberts (been HEARTING redheads ever since I saw Annie)

Chris Everett Ll0yd (Gotta HEART a tough white woman athlete with a red face and sweaty bangs)

Queen El!z (did you know she served in WWI as a mechanic?? And punk ass Prince Har.ry won't go to Ir@q?? She’s just so gangsta to me) And she’s a really good actress cuz I saw her movie Queen last year. lol

Fion.Apple/Sara.Maclachlan/Tori.Amos (who under Lil Kim's leadership, helped put me thru college)

Tip Gore (anyone who calls out studio thugs is alrite with me)

That white lady teacher who got killed in the Challenger (you KNOW your class watched that shit during Social Studies and your teacher got really flustered when it blew up, and then you had a shool-wide assembly to "make sense of what we just witnessed")

Heidi Klum or any other white woman with a black guy for a husband (bec I know it cant be easy being called a ngger lover)

So which white women do you heart, and why?

Jailhouse Rock

From the DailyReel.com...The 1500+ inmates of Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in Cebu City, Philippines, do a lot more than just languish in a cell. They have livelihood programs and personal savings accounts, allowing them to earn and save money for legal fees or the families they left behind. Perhaps even more impressive is what they do with the rest of their time: rehearse and perform elaborate parades and dance numbers, like the recreation of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" seen here.

AS IF THERE ARE 8 THINGS I HAVENT ALREADY SHARED WITH YOU...

Nobody tagged me...and I aint tagging nobody.

But you don't need my permission.

By the way, who made up these crack azz rules anyway??

Rules:
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

====

1. The first time I remember having a psychic inclination was a couple years back. I had a very vivid dream about my childhood sweetheart. The next day I emailed him and his brother. The one to him bounced back, undeliverable. Within 2 weeks I got a call saying his body was just found in a river.

Today, it’s getting stronger. I will have a thought, and then soon thereafter it will manifest in some way. 2 days ago I had a random thought about a previous convo I'd had about how I'd manage my money with my husband. NO LIE, when I got to work, the topic on the radio was Spouses Having Separate Bank Accounts. It’s freaking me out more and more because obviously when I get bad thoughts it’s accompanied by intense anxiety. I want to talk to someone about it, but if I talk to a pastor I don’t think they’ll take it seriously, and if I talk to a psychic I’m scared they’ll have me doing all types of devil shit.

2. Turns out a good friend of mine from high school is a woman beater and has been since high school. I’m shocked, but also particularly pissed at our mutual guy friends who don’t check him on it. I’ve dealt with this before when my brother hit his girl many years ago. Even then his friends actually chastised me for “taking her side.” I took the RIGHT side. Because of that, I’ve been hesitant about confronting my friend. But the whole issue makes me feel like if God forbid something ever went down, I could end up like her.

3. I played varsity basketball all 4 years in high school. Was an All City point guard. And I pretty much singlehandedly lost a big game to our rivals senior year. (And no, I don’t still wear long mesh gym shorts and cut off tees)

4. I lost my virginity to a high school boyfriend…sophomore year of college. I just knew I wasn’t ready until that exact moment that it happened…After several botched attempts we sealed the deal at his sister's boyfriend's house. He couldnt WAIT to run his mouth and I was pissed. But consequently, I developed a bit of an exhibitionist's spirit. Folo'd it up with a stint in front of a window with a crowd watching, a side street off 6th Ave in the Village, and a park, among others.

5. I finally saw his show last night, so here goes my infamous Shaq story…in college I interned at the T0day Show. My intern buddy gave me a tour of 30 Rock, and was sure to show me the SNL stage. One night after work when I didn’t have to go to my paying job (of course I was the poor lil black girl who had to get a job during the semester while the others worked at T0day full time), I wandered over to the set, looked down and saw that they were rehearsing. Kelsey Grammer was the host that week, and out comes Shaq to rehearse a special sketch. So he’s enormous and Im in awe, standing up on the balcony. Im looking down and he’s eating a similarly enormous slice of pizza. The writers are rewriting around him and he looks up at me and I wave. His hands full, he waves back…with half a “snake”…ya know the neck dance. I raise an eyebrow, then answer back with a Wop. Without hesitation, his big azz does the running man. With my work bag still on my shoulder, I cabbage patch my azz off. Im pretty sure by then he Roger Rabbits and back and forth we go. Then it suddenly occurs to me that I'm not out at the Paladium, not an extra on Beat Street, and that he is not exactly inconspicuous. So ONLY out of embarrassment, did I concede victory to Shaq. Whatev, that big muhfcuka aired me out.


6. I’m no longer a credible commentarian on gay issues. Why, because EVERYTHING seems gay to me these days. So if ever I assign the homo label on this blog, just treat me like your grandma who is out of her mind. Ignore me.

Like, I saw a guy at the Y last week jumping rope. Not on no deh neh nehhhhhhhhhh Rocky jump rope training. But on some, school girl…one.foot.at.a.time skipping rope.

And my first thought was, How Gay.

Or when a guy at the ‘buck ordered a white chocolate mocha misto with soy milk.

Gay.

Or the guy who starts his statements with, ‘Girl.’

Gay.

Bluetooth as fashion accessory?

SO gay.

Female performers who grab their “nuts” on stage. (ok, that REALLY IS gay tho!)

A group of nggas doing the snap dance...

Bonus points for if one of em got on capris.

R0bin.Thicke dancing the rumba in tight chinos on the BET Aw@ards.

Or real big ridiculous muscles.

Or a guy walking around sipping from a bitch azz martini glass. Or better yet, a skinny straw.

I know, irrational.

7. When I was little, the old people down the street had grandkids that would come visit during the summer. The girl was my ace. Libby. Somehow that friendship led to me having an imaginary friend who I called Black Libby. My brother reminds of this on pretty much every holiday, usually after I laugh about him being a breach baby.

8. I’m very sociable, but intensely anti-social. Feel me? In other words, I love hanging out, but I absolutely hate PEOPLE.

*Bonus. I have a new crush (My Neil, has no bearing on my devotion to our ongoing cyberfantasy, ok babes)...Hot, young, cooks, plays in my hair, tatted, sharp (tongue and mind), great writer, hardcore yet a big ole teddy bear. Reminds me A LOT of me. :) Problem is, my crush has no cojones. :(

AAAAAAND SCENE.

RUN AND DONE

I recently took up running. Been wanting to for a while but since I got ADD I figured I’d get bored. And though I have an ip0d, I decided I needed the little clip-on shuffle jawn, because, eff a armband.So I got the shuffle... but I lost the energy to get out on the open road. My desire slowed down. God forbid a Clean.House marathon was on, or it was hot outside. Running was out the door.

But something changed. One day I just got up and did it. I ran, and enjoyed it. Tracked my progress against the surrounding landmarks. Felt accomplished. Set some goals.

When I run, my limbs wanna shut down. I hardly ever run out of breath. It’s always my limbs. (not to mention a few days later! Fiyah!)

This evening I was out for a short while and ready to call it a night. My knees were starting to ache, I was getting hungry. Needed some water. Some really heavy, draining thoughts started drowning out the reggae.

But as I approached my car I suddenly got another burst of energy and picked it up and kept going. It came out of nowhere really, just an immediate kick and my back was long and straight, my chin up, my knees rising.

I guess life is like that some times. You run out of energy, wanna slow down, maybe give up on something or someone. Wanna just coast. Chill on the couch and get your DVR game tight.

But then some knob inside you is turned all the way up. And you wanna get up. Start moving. Keep going. Faster. Harder. Until you reach another landmark up ahead.

New Growth

Inspired by 1969's Self-Challaaaaaaange post...I thought I'd revisit my list of 30 Things Ima Do Now That I'm 30 to track my progress.

1. Read Invisible Man
OK, so I went to start reading this right after the semester ended and uh, um, I dont even have the damn book. So still working on this one...

...Go to Europe
A friend of mine is there right now as a chaperone to some high school kids. plan was for me to tag along and have a place to stay...but um, nobody told my broke azz that tickets were skyhigh in the summer. Duh. So gotta research the most cost-effective time of year to jump the pond.

...Learn the diff btwn a straight and curved mascara brush (then buy the right one (currently using straight))

I believe it was Miss LaLa who informed me that the curved brush is a croc of shit, so check mark on this one!

...See Les Mis
I kind of dont even care about this one anymore. But I did see Col0r Purp (pre-Fan). That dont count? Oh.

5. Make friends with a famous person
I do still like this one, and Ive managed to hang out with a few recently. But not on a text-msg/inside joke basis with any yet, which essentially is the goal.

...Start telling young boys to pull up their damn pants (and that chain wallets and glitter belts are 'so 5 years ago' white and gay, respectively)
I do this in my head ALL the time. But havent been in a crowded enough environment to risk doing it out loud yet. But the offense is growing more and more egregious by the day so I know it's coming soon.

...Stick with spinning and belly dancing
Ok the bellydancing instructor is fat her damn self, so that's out. But I HAVE maintained a 3 times a week spinning regimen, and an overall successful fitness overhaul. Yeah!

...BUY good music instead of downloading
Ive downloaded some good music. Thats gotta count for something!! And yes, I have paid for some gems, too. Id say Im on track with this one.

...Finish a manuscript
Workin on it!!

10. Outline my thesis
NOT working on it.

...Join church
Still quite ambivalent, and leaning towards no. I still go as often as I can, and I enjoy it most times, but it should feel natural and it doesnt.

...Invest more aggressively in mutual funds
I'm halfway there I think. I'm currently saving aggressively, basically paying myself first.

...Enter the word 'gregarious' into my conversational lingo
Damn, I forgot about this one...

...Make a Puerto Rican friend
Voy a encontrarle!

15. Begin a letter campaign to put pressure on studios to release Webs+er, 15, and Benson on DVD

I swear to God Im drafting a letter by end of business today.

Fun Fact: On Webster, remember his cousin came to live with them cuz his parents went to go work in Nigeria? Did you know that kid Nicky, played by C0rky.Nemec went on to become the title character in P@rker Lewis Can't L0se! I didnt either until I connected some dots via IMDB.


...Contribute to a political campaign (who am I fooling? Something will happen and I'm gonna get pissed and say eff it and not give a eff until I go vote)

I was so right!! I'm conflicted. This Post article basically captures my feelings, but to me right about now the only candidates talking any substance are J.Eds and the ones who got no chance (Kuc!nich/Gr@vel)

...Get tested for ADD (not to be confused with A1DS, which is what this looks like if you read it fast. PS...I been tested)

I cant focus long enough to actually do this. lol

...Publish at least 5 articles
I'm definitely on pace to double this. I think I have 3 under the belt thus far.

...Volunteer at something
Working on it...but taking my classmates down with me. lol

20. Make and market a porn flick (starring someone other than me)
Still accepting audition tapes. No for real. I swear.

...Start the travel group
I'd actually like to try traveling to some spots solo...but I'm also still recruiting for the group. Got a solid group so far, but havent decided on the first big destination.

...Curse in front of my nephews
Done that shit!

...Learn to cook curry goat
Ooooh...havent forgotten this one. Probably gonna do it around Thanksgiving, God willing.

...Get into a good fist fight
Still waiting, bitch! But she's been really asking for it lately...most recently with a minor laundry incident.

25. Pitch the Pilot
Well, it's written...

...No more perms (I'm already 3 months in!)
7 months strong. Big chopped in May.

...Make Amends with the Ex Con
Not there just yet. Might not be for a while.

...Fcuk him and get it out of my system
Ixnay on this one.

...Spend a lot of money on a handbag
I thought about this the other day. Hmm, perhaps this will be my Cmas gift to myself.

30. Wear slutty clothes and kiss random boys in front of my big brothers:)
Done!! Wait, were my brothers there??

So how're YOUR resolutions going? :)

DEAD OR ALIVE

I failed to gauge my breaking point. I thought they were dead to me.

Bear with me pls if you were born after 1985… but does anyone (grown) recall that Wu skit…the one right before M.E.T.H.0.D. Man…where Meth says he’ll fcukin, he’ll fcuking sew your azzhole closed and keep feeding you, and feeding you, and feeding you…(“Roll da dice man, roll da DICE...From the slums of Shoalin…”)

I feel kind of like that.

Tortured. And full. And nauseous.

Like maybe I tried to down a grown-man shot of tequila and couldn’t handle it, so there was nowhere else for it to go but back up my throat.

Or like that Mr. Wizard experiment (again, post-’85, I apologize, I don’t mean to exclude you), where he fills the beaker with water until the ping pong ball rises to the top and falls out.

I’m saying, I feel like the waste in my past that I have long since discarded…has finally resurfaced like a body bobbing in the East River.

Ok, lemme backtrack…

Ladies and gentlemen…

Welcome to the latest installment of Loser Week…where every waking moment seems a testament to the fact that your real life sucks and vacation was all but an unsustainable illusion to the contrary.

The last time we visited Loser Week was probably after my bday. The symptoms are always the same…

…Irritability upon arrival at baggage claim

…Irrational overeating of irrationally overpriced airport food items such as Pizz.Uno and N@thans

…Extended periods of sulking

…Fi0na.Apple, Meshell, or other depressing soundtracks on repeat

…A pile up of dirty laundry (usually in your still-zipped suitcase)

…Delayed response to phone ringing (may also include a delay in changing your Extended Absence voice mail msg, making people who call think you're still away even tho you've been home 2 days already)

…General malaise and self pity

...Ducking into a shady bodega to buy Blacks, when you don't even smoke



Right now I’m sitting in the Ft Lauderdale airport, only halfway home, as a symphony of thunder roars around me. Normally when it rains, the earth gratefully absorbs the water.

So do I. Normally.

When things happen, bad things…I absorb the shock and keep it movin. Swallow. Digest. Release. It’s the natural order of things. Circle of life, or some D!sney shit like that.

I know where the bodies are buried, and I allow them to rest in peace. After all, I’m the gravedigger.

Except some times, like this week in Mexico, the dead roams free, like the Thr!ller video (dammit, even if you were born after 2005 you seen Thrller. It’s required viewing for cultural citizenship).

So there I was, lounging aside the Carib Sea, going all Haley.J0el.Osment, seeing dead people and sitting and reminiscing with them. Driving me out of my mind.

All week my mind was a red carpet for lovers I lost or let go. I’m talking a nonstop procession of flawlessly coiffed corpses, tuxed up and tap dancing for paparazzi flashbulbs like there was never a eulogy spoken, or heart snapped in half.

And dance they did, these rigor mortised reminders. All day and night inch worming through my mind like the fcuking Tap Dance K!d (remember circa ’84 they said he died from spinning on his head in a MJ video…and but then he was on D0nahue and then Silver Sp0on (and later played Carlt0n Banks, duh) and everybody was like, hold up, that little boy ain't dead!…).

It was like I could no longer hold it. Like the memories were being jammed down my throat while Meth pulled needle and thread. Like those relationships had never really croaked.

Because when you let go of someone you’ve let in, you HAVE to kill that bit of the brain that they occupied. Autopsy that muhfcuka, examine the cause of death then make sure it doesn’t happen again. No breath. No pulse.

But in truth, you never fully close the casket. You subconsciously leave it cracked. Just in case.

And just in case you ever try to pretend that your mind is fully in tact, that you didn’t surrender a piece (and peace) of it to the undertaker, they come back like Laz@rus.

They claw through the dirt that you’ve thrown on top of them.

They swim back to the surface no matter how heavy the cement blocks.

They wind back up your digestive tract like bitter bile.

And reappear. Alive and well, just as you had hoped.

And for a series of split seconds you entertain the idea of rolling away the stone that has blocked any vestige of resurrection.

No, no time for miracles. It’s time to find a new ditch. A new shovel. A new distraction. A new breaking point.

A new cause of death, Loser.

Border Patrol

¡México, aquí vengo!
Y las bebidas mejoran estén en el hielo cuando consigo allí.

Translation...

When is African.Pride gonna start making black folk sunscreen with a sub-saharan sunset on the bottle, available exclusively at Ko'rean beauty supply stores?

Mama's on vaca. I'll miss yall. Might upload some pics while I'm away if I'm drunk enough.

Hey, somebody water my lawn and collect my mail for me, pls.
~Management :)