Monday, July 30, 2007

What About Mom?

Wise’s Mom: “Do you remember a family that used to live across the street in Miss Jean’s house when you were little, and the guy was black and the wife was white?”

Wise: “Amber and them?”

Wise’s Mom: “Yes! I was at choir rehearsal on Tuesday night and this woman comes up to me and says, ‘Are you Mrs. Wise’s Mom?’ And I said to her, ‘yes, I am.’

“And she says, ‘My family used to live across the street from you 20 years ago.’”

At this point my mom says she gave her a blank stare like, ‘wait, huh?’ But then of course she’s like, ‘oh my goodness. Wow!’

Wise’s Mom: “And it wasn’t until she said, ‘My daughter Amber used to play with Wise’ that I really remembered exactly who she was.”

Wise: “Wow. How are they doing?”

Wise Mom: “They look really good. She said Amber is married and has a little baby. She’s a teacher. And her brother is married, too.”

I paused. Suddenly sympathetic.
I wonder if my mom was sad that she didn’t have any stories to tell about MY wedding? Does she wish her youngest was married off already?

--------------------------------

Wise’s Friend Dee: “See, with an Indian family if they know you’re seeing someone for longer than 9 months and you’re not engaged they go nuts. So my parents just think Kev is my good friend from college…which is true.”

Wise: “You’ve been together 9 YEARS! They don’t know?”

Dee: “You don’t understand. I’d never hear the end of the ‘when is the wedding?’ shit. I’m surprised Jamaican moms aren’t like that.”

Wise: “Maybe they are…but my mine isn’t. She never pressures me about that stuff. Never has.”

Dee: “You’re lucky.”

Wise: “Might be becuz I’ve only ever brought home a couple of boyfriends. I don’t like to invite that kind of drama..my brothers are irrationally overprotective. Maybe also bec my sister didn’t get married until her late 30s.”

Dee: “Maybe your mom thinks you’re gay.”

--------------------------------

Wise’s Mom: “My goodness, I would love to see Amber. Oh, I have a picture of Wise right here in my wallet. See, it was taken at her commitment ceremony. She lives in San Francisco with her partner and their twin daughters.”

Old Neighbor: blank stare


--------------------------------

Poor Mom.

Granted, that’s what hometown people do when they stay in their hometown.

They get married and have babies. Young.

Granted my mom is proud of me and tells me often. She LOVES carrying around my business cards and bragging on my professional standings.

Granted, I’m pretty sure she’s never met a real lesbian much less to think that I am one.

And granted, she would never, ever tell me if she was itching to get rid of my dowry.

But damn, what if she really is secretly sad? :(

I need to get her a son in law, FAST.

PS...Dippin out to Car!bana in a few...so I'll leave you with a bonus clip (below).
Ya know, the sex one (thanks for the hook up, O.N.). That should be fun...

15 comments:

Amadeo said...

Consider this...while I'm open to questions of when I'll get married...my mother asked me at my cousins wedding if I had any kids. WTF!!! I might mention something like that.

DurtyMo said...

HAHAH@AMADEO!!! Ok I had to laff at that before I commented! Wooo..

Ok do fam/parents still ask when you're gonna get married? I didn't think so but I guess so *shrug*. I'm sure the question comes up when you've been dating someone for a while but like you Wise, my fam does NOT go there with me. Granted I've been married before (all of 5 mins) but still shoot, I plan to get married again and they will be the first to know! Otherwise let's just keep it moving!

Anonymous said...

Wise going gay?... Can't see it.
Marriage? I can't see it...lol I meant that last one for me...heeheehee

I'mma send you a pic of my "bank" and if you see him @ Caribana giving out my funds... let a sista know.

Have fun and behave.

Bloopty!

1969 said...

Well Caribana is a damn good place to start looking for a friend :)

Enjoy the jump up Wise.....

Your mom wants you to be independent and successful. The rest will come in due time. Until then, enjoy!!!

Anonymous said...

My mom pressures me for grandbabies, since I'm the only one who can give 'em to her. Marriage?? Eh, she's never been married, so I don't think she cares too much about that, lol.

expressions of mirth said...

Welcome to my life! My mom actually asked me if I was into women a few years ago! Granted, I was on some "fuck a dude" shit as a result of a horrendous breakup, but I guess I had the family convinced I was done with men for good. Now that I'm in a relationship, my sisters have lost their minds! They've already named themselves bridesmaids in my wedding (seriously!!!) and have already referred to my boyfriend as my "husband"...in front of him!! Yiiiikes. Of course, I am leaving for Vegas next week, I'll keep you posted...;)

xoxo...chanel

Southerner in Suomi said...

My mom is obsessed with getting some grandbabies outta me since apparently I'm the only one qualified. My cousin (who has been married for two years) had a baby shower last weekend. She threw the invitation in my face...literally. If she didn't have a brown belt in karate...I effin' swear...
(deep breath)

(another deep breath)

Anyway, I've gotta little pressure over here too. Lol. You're just fine.

Jonzee said...

Wow. This is my story. My Mom has always been supportive of me through my years of singleness--including telling those relatives who wondered if I was a Lesbian to step the hell off. But every once in awhile, the "don't you want a boyfriend--eventual husband--so--I can--have--grandkids" conversation would creep up. Partly because I never, ever, ever, after that one fool I brought home, have ever invited a man to meet the parents on their territory.

Now that the current boyfriend is making the rounds, including the reunion in 'bama, I can hear the sunshiny beam in my mothers voice and the exaperation in my father's.

Anonymous said...

You already know because we discussed it before that at this point CNEL is anti-marriage.

My mom better hope even though my sister is a lesbian that she decides to have kids...cause I don't want to be anybody's daddy either.

Love the kids but not for me.

My mom's will support me however, whenever, whatever I decide because she knows I make my own way in the world.

La said...

Lmao! I'm quite sure your mother doesn't think you're a lesbian.

I mean... she's met you, right?

Although I am anti-marriage (my own that is), I will say this: I firmly believe you'll find what you need when you stop looking for what you want. Your mom doesn't pressure you not because she thinks you're a lesbian (ha!) but because she's proud of where you're at. The woman carries around your friggin' business cards for goodness sakes, lol. Relax. It'll always be something. First the hubby. Then it'll be when you're having kids. Then it'll be when you're having more kids. *shudder* Don't start to trip til she sends you a copy of Accepting Your Gay Child. (True story.)

Have fun! No grave digging!!! *evil eye*

Miz JJ said...

My mom is like your mom. No real pressure about getting married. Thank God. There are currently zero prospects.

Have fun at Caribana. Remember to have a good time jumping up, but be prepared to run if need be. Don't be a foolio and be wearing stilettos when not absolutely necessary. I rock my cute Nike Shox whenever possible, so I am ready to break out should the situation arises.

Miz JJ said...

Oh and look out for my cuz. She won a beauty pageant and should be leading a float led by some NBA stars.

Anonymous said...

My mom even asks me when Im gonna get married. I am only 20. She also wonders why I dont have a gf. I dont bring random females home. Cant have that.

Adei von K said...

heck naw!

i'm sure that being Jamaican, lesbian-ism hasn't even CROSSED your mom's mind...

i'm mad you're always dipping somewhere... can i come???

Southern_Lady said...

I KNOW my mama wonders when I'm bringing "THE ONE" home. It bothers me, too. Everytime I meet or begin dating someone, she jumps off the deep end. I know it's only b/c she cares though. But it's damn shole aggravating!

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