What About Mom?

Wise’s Mom: “Do you remember a family that used to live across the street in Miss Jean’s house when you were little, and the guy was black and the wife was white?”

Wise: “Amber and them?”

Wise’s Mom: “Yes! I was at choir rehearsal on Tuesday night and this woman comes up to me and says, ‘Are you Mrs. Wise’s Mom?’ And I said to her, ‘yes, I am.’

“And she says, ‘My family used to live across the street from you 20 years ago.’”

At this point my mom says she gave her a blank stare like, ‘wait, huh?’ But then of course she’s like, ‘oh my goodness. Wow!’

Wise’s Mom: “And it wasn’t until she said, ‘My daughter Amber used to play with Wise’ that I really remembered exactly who she was.”

Wise: “Wow. How are they doing?”

Wise Mom: “They look really good. She said Amber is married and has a little baby. She’s a teacher. And her brother is married, too.”

I paused. Suddenly sympathetic.
I wonder if my mom was sad that she didn’t have any stories to tell about MY wedding? Does she wish her youngest was married off already?

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Wise’s Friend Dee: “See, with an Indian family if they know you’re seeing someone for longer than 9 months and you’re not engaged they go nuts. So my parents just think Kev is my good friend from college…which is true.”

Wise: “You’ve been together 9 YEARS! They don’t know?”

Dee: “You don’t understand. I’d never hear the end of the ‘when is the wedding?’ shit. I’m surprised Jamaican moms aren’t like that.”

Wise: “Maybe they are…but my mine isn’t. She never pressures me about that stuff. Never has.”

Dee: “You’re lucky.”

Wise: “Might be becuz I’ve only ever brought home a couple of boyfriends. I don’t like to invite that kind of drama..my brothers are irrationally overprotective. Maybe also bec my sister didn’t get married until her late 30s.”

Dee: “Maybe your mom thinks you’re gay.”

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Wise’s Mom: “My goodness, I would love to see Amber. Oh, I have a picture of Wise right here in my wallet. See, it was taken at her commitment ceremony. She lives in San Francisco with her partner and their twin daughters.”

Old Neighbor: blank stare

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Poor Mom.

Granted, that’s what hometown people do when they stay in their hometown.

They get married and have babies. Young.

Granted my mom is proud of me and tells me often. She LOVES carrying around my business cards and bragging on my professional standings.

Granted, I’m pretty sure she’s never met a real lesbian much less to think that I am one.

And granted, she would never, ever tell me if she was itching to get rid of my dowry.

But damn, what if she really is secretly sad? :(

I need to get her a son in law, FAST.

PS...Dippin out to Car!bana in a few...so I'll leave you with a bonus clip (below).
Ya know, the sex one (thanks for the hook up, O.N.). That should be fun...