Wednesday, March 28, 2007

30 Degrees of Vegas

Oh.My.

I'm back.

From Vegas.

It's just after 6 am, and I'm wide awake.

And trust, Weasy aint no morning ho.

Think Im still on that 'party til noon EST' time clock.

Well first, let me sincerely thank y'all for the bday wishes. So sweet, and I tried to respond to them all.

I had a really great birthday, and I cant even tell you how depressed I was when I got off the plane at BWI and heard the first Bawtuhmore accent. *sigh*

It's really over.

Back to reality.

Loser Week has set in HARD.

I got so much to tell yall about my trip...but I can't remember most of it.

So here's what I do recall (cuz lists are my new fav thing)...

30 THINGS I LEARNED IN VEGAS (this will be particularly helpful for you N@BJ folk headed there in August)....

1. What happens in Vegas carries a logistical improbability of occurring anywhere else...so it really does need to stay there.

...You could get shitfaced, layed, win dough and have the time of your life...all within any given one block radius. I do not know this from personal experience.

...I really like to drink. I really, really, really do. And yes, it does feel like a new discovery.

...There is only one black club on the strip, and there really only needs to be, cuz LV is not a black town. But just about every club plays hip hop.

5. White women find me insufferably sexy. Especially naked.

...Ballers really DO have more fun.

...A limo does not a baller make.

...You can't travel with everybody. This applies exponentially to family and childhood friends.

...Dudes are indiscriminately visual. It reminds me of my 2yr old nephew and his obsession with Barney. Toss a girl in shorts on a podium in a club and they will stare without blinking.

10. I'm convinced they have NOTHING else to talk about beyond every woman that walks past. That shit gets boring fast.

...Good food unlocks the key to my panties and burns away the few inhibitions I have left.

...Mehk! Phiffer is taller than I thought. Uglier, too.

...They charge for EVERYTHING...but the club is the only place you cant sneak in.

...I have anti-social tendencies and require alone time.

15. Growing up often means outgrowing the people you grew up with.

...Carry cash. If you charge things, check your account before you leave town cuz those sons of bitches make a killing by double and triple charging your card.

..."Hey hon, I just won at blackj@ck," is the going come on line. It's ok to fall for it the first time.

...The Veg@s industry would be screwed if the immigration cops ever rolls up.

...Toni Br@xton is too old to be on somebody's billboard with her hoot'nanny all out.

20. The Bell@gio hotel has the best buffet in the world. You CAN sneak in...and take home some jumbo shrimp in a napkin to enjoy on the 4-hour flight home. (OK, yeah I do know from personal experience)

...Sneaking in to places shoulda been on my list of things I'll stop doing now that Im 30.

...G'town Hoy@s!!! *clap clap clap clap clap*

...I need to reconcile my interracial issues before I go back.

...Kissing random boys in front of my brothers is gonna be harder than I thought...but they can't stop me from dressing slutty.

25. Don't tell anyone where you're staying...unless you want them to show up. Cuz they will show up.

...Veg@s strippers are as brokedown as the ones in your city.

...Don't try to club hop. Pick one. Go early. Buy bottles and a table.

...I should probably film my first porn there.

...The pool at the H@rd Rock reminds me of the video for 'I Get @round' where 2.Pac was running around in those white shorts sans the ashy negr0 league popping bottles poolside.

30. Orgasms are way more intense at 30.

Honorable Mention: As proven by this couple at my party at Tr.yst nightclub, you're never too old to be gangstaaaaaaa!

20 comments:

Jameil said...

I LURRRRVE YOU!! fantastic. i'm in loser week xs 8. how bout i came back to 67 emails. shoot me now please. my own blog will have to WAIT!! not the ashy negro league!!!!!!!!! lmao!!!!! can we just say past 35, its time to start dressing your age? that means if all the pop tartlets are doin it, you need to sit the hell down!! it makes you look older. i def have outgrown some folk i grew up with. and they are not happy about it. the dude visual obsession is INSANE!! HEY STUPID!! we see her too! damn. and it ain't hatin its how is your attention span at that level still!?! we. get. it! now go buy me a drink.

Ms.Honey said...

Even the more reason why I need to go to VEGAS!!

La said...

I will print this list and use it for my reference in Vegas next week.

Da Arsonist said...

Happy Belated Sis....

Glad to read that you had a great time....I can't wait to be down in Vegas.

Looking for a second job so that I too can Make it Rain... lol

... Ghost

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

my motto is: if its worth doing, its worth overdoing.

thats why i dont goto vegas anymore...

ace

TTD said...

glad u had a great time.. yes.. club hopping vegas can be VERY expensive!!

popping bottles, huh? BAL-LIN!!! lol

So...Wise...Sista said...

Jameil...Loser Week, in any of its many incarnations, always sucks. :( I hope you get thru it, girlie!

Honey...If you can do it I say do it! I think it's an ideal spot bec you can do just about anything without DOING much of anything. :)

LA...You're gonna have a BLAST!

Young...you going to N@BJ? Ballys is dope, but you might get a better rate staying next door at Imperial Palace. That weekend will be insane i can only imagine.


Rev says..."my motto is: if its worth doing, its worth overdoing."

Which is why it's an annual trip for me! lol


TTD...Not only expensive, but it aint like theres a row of clubs all on one block! We went to Tao (Venetian) then to Jet (Mirage) then settled on Tryst (Wynn)...and the travel time alone was exhausting! Moral of the story, just go to OPM in Caesars and call it a night. lol

Mr.Slish said...

Listen here Gyal...Next time you decide to video a couple getting their swerve on make sure The chick looks like Pamela Anderson or BEYONCE...Hold On!!! I gotta run to the bathroom and THROW UP!!!!

Oh Btw I'm baaaaaaaack

Anonymous said...

it's chanel...happy birthday girl! i'm heading to vegas in august for NABJ and i'm verrry nervous! in the meantime, enjoy being 30 (it's pretty effin' cool, actually) and remind me to take you up to the bronx and get you some puerto rican friends...and you lived in NYC for how long without doing that???

also, invisible man...great book, but you will want to smack some white folk when you're done...

So...Wise...Sista said...

Slishy....look what the hell the cat done dragged in. prodigal son azz. i missed u sweetie, ;) PS...I got some good video for you...havent had time to log it all yet but you'll like it.

Chanel...hey girlie! why you nervous?! it's gonna be a great time.

PS...i should clarify and say that i am not completely without latino influences, but i am however not afraid to admit that in my 6 years in the city, and with a clear view of yankee stadium from my fire escape...i only went to the bx MAYBE 5 times.lol

PPS..."also, invisible man...great book, but you will want to smack some white folk when you're done..."

thats perfect bec remember i also wanna get into a fistfight now that im 30!

Anonymous said...

i didnt have a good time at OPM... my 1st club experience there was at Run Jungle (mandalay bay) and had a freaking blast!!! i also enjoyed studio 54 (mgm grand)

Lola Gets said...

Im glad you had a great time; remember, the 30s are the new 20s!
lol
L

Anonymous said...

I'm taking notes and hoping my summer plans include Vegas, that'd be a hell of a 21st b-day gift for myself.

I'll be sure to carry cash and stay away from the casinos.

Southerner in Suomi said...

The most important tip for everyone: throw some zip-loc bags into the suitcase. I'm sure it'll be easier to smuggle stuff out of the buffets.
Yaaay food!!

So...Wise...Sista said...

TTD...No fun at OPM? I can see that. but really, it's the blackest spot i been to in LV...plus lets be honest, gimme a few bottles and im gonna enjoy ANY locale.:) never been as far down as MB, but i really wanted to jump on the train and check it out. I hear its so dope and house of blues is there. next time!

lola...i am really PRAYING that the 30s bear absolutely no resemblance to my 20s!

CNelly...I hope you get to go young man. and i hope for no repeats of last year's um, shall we say, "confrontation". :( And ps...i never said nothing bout the casinos!

Vdizzle...ya killin me! so tru. So tru. lol

Amadeo said...

I say only stop sneaking in when they let you in for free...they'll milk you at the bar anyway. If they don't recognize that your the shyt then sneaking in is your retribution.

You wanna hear about some madness, ask me about some of those conferences I used to go to with other Youth Workers...it was like Vegas sans strippers and legalized gambling.

So...Wise...Sista said...

Amadeo says..."I say only stop sneaking in when they let you in for free..."

Sweetie, your logic couldnt be more on point. :)

1969 said...

I am late to the party but had to wish you a Happy Belated Birthday! From that list, it looks like you had a good one :)

And I say sneak in! They jack you on the prices anyway. They kind of owe you something right?

Blah Blah Blah said...

...ummm your first porn was filmed there?

Ha!

Hey Wise....

Nika Laqui said...

Girl you off that chain...

I can't wait til I'm 30....

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