Monday, January 15, 2007

THE HAND JOB THAT ROCKED THE CRADLE


“I gotta tell you about my little boy toy, Wise,” says my girl Kells.

Yadda, yadda, yadda, he had all the vitals…ginormous genitalia, and, uh, ginormous genitalia, that’s pretty much the highlight. Oh yeah, but they also have a lot in common and have a lot of fun together.

“And how old is he?”

“20.”

Then there’s another home girl, Singles, who is a bit less enthusiastic, yet every bit animated in telling me her tale.

“Young and Tasty,” is what she calls him. He’s every bit of early 20s, albeit a working professional, a co-worker no less. Again there’s talk of this young man’s endless conversational prowess, his energy, and oh, huge surprise…his seismic sexual smackdown.

Have I finally reached the age where my peers are indeed SON’ing it…as in the boy you’re fcuking could be your slightly older homegirl’s actual biological son?

What am I missing? I mean, I can imagine what I’m missing in bed, and frankly, I’m not all that pressed. Weeeeeeell, I wasn’t until the other night at this reggae spot…

This young sweetie pie stepped to me and made me re-eval…

I was sitting and sipping and he rolls up next to me all brazen like he knows me like that. Asks me if I wanna dance. When I decline, he puts his arm around me with this brash possessive air, and I was thoroughly amused. I walked his young azz into the dark Calypso room and had my way with him. I barked commands into his ear, and he obeyed, but not without defying me first. And he didn’t just do what I said, he did it like he had something to prove.

I made sure to divulge my age from jump, cuz looks can be deceiving and I knew he might take me for one of his classmates. I didn’t bother listening when he tried to tell me his age. For those secession of songs that we shared I could suddenly sense the allure. I was enchanted by his boyish charm which was really nothing more than an equation of unsophisticated sexual bravado + drive. I could see how that undivided attention could be attractive to a 30 year old woman like either of my friends, who can basically summarize the past decade with bullet points of boys who were the exact opposite.

I sustained that understanding for less than a full Red S+ripe. That’s about when he should have refreshed it. Instead he tried to kiss me then asked if I would mind if he went for a smoke.

Son.

So that just brings me back to the playground. I didn’t much care for dudes in their early 20s when I was that age, so it’s sincerely beyond me what I would do with one now. But that’s not to say that I’m passing judgment on the Son Movement. I say, whatever floats your little man in the boat. I’m just wondering why the explanation (bec yeah, one is necessary) always resembles a cartoon. Women always speak in these animated terms, and color in the descriptions of these young men with these vivid crayola caricatured brush strokes. And there’s no doubt in my mind that younger men have a lot of qualities that older dudes could stand to learn.

Just bec it’s not for me doesn’t mean that it’s not a valid and viable relationship option.

But I am fascinated by the social dynamic, particularly in my girl Kells’ case…

  • Dude was her student at commun college. [problematic on too many levels, but it gets better]
  • The class was Reading. [you’ll remember from undergrad that Reading means that you’re not proficient enough to enroll in English 1o1. In other words, it would prob take him an entire class period to read this entry.
  • He aint all that cute. She says he has a big dizzle and all, but does that really matter if he looks like a gay Lil J0n? [ps…has anyone else noticed today that there’s a fine line in distinguishing if a guy is just young or if he’s gay…in the same way that it’s hard to tell foreign from gay? Sorry young’ens.]
  • He is not just “something to do” [which is the attitude of my other friend who’s Son’ing, and which makes perfect sense to me]... Kells and lil Lil J0n are now exclusive.
But in the end my friends, is it really for me to comprehend? Im not the one with the Son.

But perhaps talk to me late next decade.

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi, I was browsing the Web and came accross your site. I am pretty new to blogging and everything but it seems pretty fun. Great blog. Well, keep on blogging!

Rgds // Techno-buzzz
Techno-buzzz

Amadeo said...

I've been those guys and what's funny is it was more for the conversation. At that time females my age sounded so young. By virtue of life experience most older women could hold their on in a conversation with me. Now...I have no idea what I want. Women my age are getting ready to settle and the younger ones are usually more trouble. Is it time to become Cougar bait? Perhaps I should dedicate the next three years to something profound and then try again.

Anonymous said...

I never had the fortune of being considered a boytoy when I was younger (if so..it was from afar which was useless). Being where I am now, I can move up and down the age range with women but not to the extreme. I didn't get in where I fit in, I created my own space. Anonymous Detroit.

Anonymous said...

If I have to get down with a young dude... well he'd pretty much have to be the same as my older dudes... paid and layed (as in the pipe) However, the possibilities of my 36 year old ass laying down with a 20 year old are.... none.
Last summer I dilly-dallied with a 24 year old...and I give a fuck what those young ones say about being "mature" and having an "old soul"... SON, your still a baby. Didn't matter that he was into high income assest managment with a major banking company...I am still old enough to be your momma... if we lived in West Virginia!

Sup Wise!

TTD said...

young dudes are only good for "doing" nothing more... me & my homegirls have been there, done that... i think ur girls may just be going thru a phase...

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

the teacher/student thing.....thats a red flag.


ace

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

I've been toying around with this idea..all the guys my age have too much baggage, too many back aches and too many dreams of golfing, been there done that...the younger clientele just want to have fun..no strings attached and that's where I am in my life!! and they can go for HOURS once you show them how to hit that groove spot!!! They do sometimes require a few teaching sessions but that's Kool & the gang I love being in control.

aquababie said...

i can't do anyone under the ages of 25-27. if she meet dude while he was her student, that's not too good.

onefromphilly said...

A ten year difference either way is max. But when you get to be a women in her 40's you have to be careful about knowing when young is too damn young. My girl's soon-to-be husband is 30, she's 45!! Hell naw.. I'm not raising any more children.

Jameil said...

I can understand the youth + drive attraction, but like you said, they can be really stupid. and annoying. Fun to play with.

lmao @ "it would prob take him an entire class period to read this entry!!" you are an ass!! hilarious.

Maybe its not for you to comprehend but its human (and Wise) nature to try and we thank ya for it! I'm working on a little comprehension on another topic myself.

Madam DLBG said...

So it's true what they say about older women and younger men...it really does happen like this. wow. I thought men did it the most but women a really getting their cradle game on.

**eyes looking into the light but not sure if she can stand the glare just yet**

Charles said...

Wow...I didn't know it was like that at all. And me being 22...wow...speechless....

Anonymous said...

Like some of your readers expressed, I don't think the teacher/student thing is NOT a good look but I, too, dated a 25-year-old guy when I was 30. And as much fun and excitement that was had...I'd never ever do that again. Albeit the guy was a lot of fun and a very good lover (with a very nice package :), he was extremely irresponsible. I couldn't go beyond the boy toy thing due to that fact alone. His priorities were all screwed up and I was fully grown and responsible for quite a while and I had no intentions of raising a child.

Little Brown Girl said...

Never! My last "relationship" was with someone 2 years younger then me...when we met we were both in our young 20s but when I hit 30 and he was still 28 the maturity differences became hella apparent. I might do someone 2-3 years younger (since I am 33) but that means they also have to be in their 30s and mature 30s at that!!!

I cant see it, SON!! LOL!!

So...Wise...Sista said...

Im disappointed that my 2 fav "Sons" havent weighed in. ;)

Charles, sweetie pie...how old is the oldest woman you've been with?

Im 29 and I can say for sure i cant go below 28. But if I was 40 and had to date a 30yr old I wonder if i could....

Yes, the student-teach thing is nuts and one of our friends is hella outspoken about it so i dont have to be. But sheeeeeit, i could see if he was like, a sexy, brooding mature law student or something...but son is hooked on effing phonics.

Im just trying to figure out what exactly this says about my friend that she's quote unquote exclusive with him.

If young men have energy (read:stamina) and are fun/immature and irresponsible...yet older men are more stable yet a snore...at what age do they possess a sound balance of the two? Do they ever?

Sounds like the moral of the story is that the name of the game is POWER, son. :)

Anonymous said...

You know I was gonna say something sooner or later

This young meat got lots to offer! Don't knock it until you try it.

But I know I have to be careful with older women. They think they can be manipulative because of my age. I have had some try me.

I think it depends on the guy though. If he is youngr but is mature, I say go for it. But realize that life is experience is important but remember we all experience life at different speeds.

Anonymous said...

Oh lawd you made Eps too happy with this post.

I think it's an interesting notion, this older woman, younger man thing. I've observed it first hand, and haven't seen any relationships that lasted. Not with friends though with family and acquaintances. The reverse older man-younger woman thing I have seen success with, but I think because of the fact that these women need strong male role models, men who as JPinkett-Smith noted is able to display for those who had gone without "the love of a man". I hope it's not just a trend, but I hope that these people are looking at the people for more than what meets the eye.

Yay I concur the teacher-student thing is not a good look, not at all, that's the stuff better left for fantasies. And what was she thinking "Reading"? But then again it could have been her star pupil, and he could have been out of apples, so he was handing out swipes of pipe.

Will "Hello 'Mrs. Robinson'" be "Hello Ms. Wise" next decade? Hmmm. I don't see it.


I like em younger, but given my luck, maybe I need to leave my eyes open to possibilities.

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

I think its fair to point out that, most likely, your friend is not interested in actually settling down with this guy. She just wants a fcuk buddy. When i was 21, i had a 32 year old fcuk buddy. It didnt last very long, because inevitably, the places where your are in life just tend to get more and more obvious. In my case, i realized that this woman was just looking to either hang on to, or recreate her "youth" even tho she was quite youthful. It (I) was also an escape for her from the responsiblitlies of adult life. the things we did together were incredilbly juvinille in hindsight both in and out of the bedroom. Im not saying i represented the fountain of youth for her, but the more i pulled back, the more she tried to keep me in a box for a rainy day.

I could say a lot more on this subject but i'm already kanking up you blog.

the very

So...Wise...Sista said...

Here go my young'ens!

Young Epsi...I can see you stepping up to the challenge of an older woman. But I think it would have to be a MUCH older woman, like late 30s, the kind that is mad patient and nurturing and wants to help you thru college and shit. A woman my age is still young enough to find your energy exhausting. lol

Now CNelly...I get that you're into ounger girls, bec I think you fancy that bit of control, if not intellectual advantage. I actually think you wouldnt too much stand for an older chick trying to manip you. I could both of you flipping out at the mind games. lol

PS...did you actually just say "swipes of pipe"? Of course you did, and don't be surprised if I plagiarize! :)

Rev...This space is prime for the hijacking. Do tell. Sounds like she was a piece of work. lol

Anonymous said...

It's not about control or intellecutal advantage Wise LoL, young ones just time and time again seems to be my type. Only rarely do I find an attraction to women who are my age or older, iono why, still figuring it out LoL. Not that I don't look to them, but once the vitals are exchanged in the original shakedown, the young ones always seem to linger or linger in my mind. Cause they must be confident and mature. A friend asked me the other night on her radio show, what I looked for in a woman. I said for any woman regardless of age "I look at how they carry their sexy." Demeanor says a lot, and its what makes me want to have a convo with you, and this leads to the digit exchange, and the late night talks. I'm a full-time academic hustler so the late night rendevous only come during summer breaks, that kind of stuff goes much better with "summer rain".

And as for Eps yay before we're out of our 20's he will have dated a 30 something and 40 something no doubt LoL. That's how he rolls.

Miz JJ said...

I could never take a younger dude seriously, but I think I would enjoy the ride...for awhile. One of my girls who is into a younger dude she is 28 and he is 21 says that she likes he is not jaded with tons of baggage from previously relationships. I laughed. She is the one who will probably make him jaded since she laughed when she told me how he said he loved her after she gave him some supahead. Uh huh. That is not going anywhere good.

Anonymous said...

I guess my energy can be exhausting. But why would some even older than you be able to handle it Wise??

Cnel, you know ima find me an older woman!!

So...Wise...Sista said...

CNelly...you didnt like how i carried my sexy? ;)

MizJJ...Supahead...to a YOUNG DUDE? I done heard it all. And yes, she will undoubtedly destroy him. Poor thing.

So...Wise...Sista said...

Epsi...I think that a much older woman would find your energy not exhausting but adorable. She'd see the interaction as an exercise in maternal instinct. She'd be trying to raise you, not dog you. She'd be stern and teach you things sexually, then encourage you to spread your wings and go for a woman your own age. Watch and see. ;) PS...I see this being one of your boys' mamas. HAHAHA

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

haha!

Eps says "even much older than you"

What are you in your 70's, wise?

Anonymous said...

Of course I liked how you carried your sexy Wise, Eps told me to stand back though. And I didn't want to be a blocker for my boy LoL. Cause I wouldn't like it if he blocked my shot.

Don't encourage him, he has always had a thing for mamas LoL.

La said...

Lmao! I can barely stand dating men my own age now, let alone consider dating them at 30. Ugh. Lol

Lola Gets said...

The teacher/student relationship isnt kosher (at times) not just because of age, but its an abuse of power, and folks sometimes get taken advantage of in that situation (not saying that its happening here, though).

The last guy I slept with was a very peppy, big-dicked 22 year old! (Im 36). Please note that I said slept with, not dated, lol. I guess if a mature, intelligent, 20-something happened along, Id date him, but those are only wishes...lol.

L

Disqus for She's Just Not Feeling You...

  • So...Wise??

    My photo
    Our Nation's (HIV) Capital...by way of Harlem, NY and Upsteezy NY
    I'm older than I look, and stupider than you think. But I'm quite proud of my sharp eye for The Ridiculous, and by Ridiculous, of course I mean Me.

    Followers