Monday, October 13, 2008

CUZ LA HATES ME...

As if I havent sufficiently exposed my bare naked ass enough on this damn blog for the last 3 years, Lauren wants more.

Ok lemme see...

1. I remember vividly the day I decided to quit eating boogers cold turkey. I was really little, and I didnt even really like boogers, but I saw other kids doing it. But then it occurred to me that it was pretty stupid, not to mention nasty. So I stopped. I've only regressed a few times since.

2. When I lived in NY during jr year I used to exist mostly on leftover green room breakfast and a slice of pizza every day. One time I was plotting on walking out of the Chinese buffet without paying, but the sons of bitches followed my black ass around like they knew I was up to no good. And when I threw down the container full of sesame chicken and stormed out crying racism, they pretty much just cleaned it up and kept it moving.

3. As my childhood bedroom was right across the hall from my parents, I would on occasion hear them having sex. One time I confronted my mom the next morning in metaphorical terms and she flat out denied it. I was maybe 8.

4. I'm immune to weed. I'm Jamaican, don't smoke, have inhaled, have lived with daily smokers and have never been all that high.

5. I'm fcuking a blogger that half you muhfcukas would loooooove to get at and that's all you need to know about that until further notice. Don't hate.

6. I don't know how to make friends. I'm absolutely lousy at it. I have almost no friends that are not from some sort of controlled situation like school or work.

7. I once kissed a girl on the banks of the Mississippi River. It was all poetic and shit. And fantastic.

8. I write best when I'm drunk but I always pass out before I can formulate a complete sentence. I have 3 writing projects that remain incomplete because I'm a loser who can't finish anything either always or never drunk. I'm probably afraid of success, or more accurately afraid of failure.

9. My dead dad made an appearance last week, and it was a huge help.

10. I'm a really efficient stalker and I did some reconn work the other day that I now regret.

Happy? Huh?? No seriously, I miss you guys. But since we being honest and all I'm not gonna front like other bloggers who disappear and say, "I've been away but I've still been reading all of you." Yo, I aint been reading shit that aint on tv school related. What can I say, my life blows. No need to drag you all thru it. :)

14 comments:

nikki said...

i can only hope you're not fucking my blog crush. LOL

GreatWhyte said...

Is it..... um......

**snicker**

My blog crush?

Anonymous said...

Oh Wise how you make my day when I log on type in your url and see what you have written.

Hope all's well in your world.

the joy said...

That booger ish is mad icky, lol. Let's see... I have trouble making friends too. Then they all move to/ live in other states... I have no girlfriends.

I'm mad you got gangsta on the Chinese buffet and they didn't even care. Now I want Chinese.

Why is that all we need to know? I for one would like to know more. I'm nosy, lol.

La said...

My whole name tho? Really? See this what I be talking about. When I be talking about stuff... this be it.

You don't do nothing when you're drunk by ramble about Salmonella and pass out. And well...
Go get this money!!!! lol

On the banks of the Mississippi huh? That sounds romantic...

Ms.Honey said...

WOW a blogger...hmmmmmm LOL too bad you already said that you wont tell hahaha...does he have a sibling lol male sibling that is

Haven't been by in a while decided to stop through..I need to catch up...especially on the regression of eating boogers lol

chip said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
So...Wise...Sista said...

Nikki...Whisper in my ear and I'll tell you... lol

X... *snicker* yessir.

CNelly...I hardly recognize you now that you're a working man. All is well. I'm having a party. Come.

Joy...Can you believe that I know adults that eat boogers? I've seen it with my own two eyes. Since I quit at such a super young age I really couldnt relate.
OMG you ARE nosy! (whatchu wanna know? I'll tell you EVerything.)

La...Whole name said allllll ny too. Be glad you didnt get the full first/middle/hyphenated last name reference. And wtf ELSE I'm supposed to talk about when I'm drunk?? O silencio!
The Mississippi is that jump off. Take Bob.

Honey...what up!! Male sibling? Why yes...

GreatWhyte said...

**ROAAAAAAAAAARING with laughter and falling on the floor**

I.

Simply.

Cannot.

Do this one more second.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

I wish I could think of just one blogger I would want to get at much less have sexy times with...I guess I might need to troll more blog sites?


Prolly not, can't barely handle my own shit.


Welcome back I see you made quite a Splash

Southerner in Suomi said...

My sister walked in on my parents once, and after calling her a gutless dingbat, I asked my parents about it. They said they were talking.

Really!?!?!

Anonymous said...

I guess your boogers were tasty. You are just open minded and you say the other kids doing it and said I wonder if they taste good. LOL Glad you quit that habit it wouldn't be to attractive now to see a grown woman enjoying a pick.

So...Wise...Sista said...

X... Who me?? *shrug* (cute pic!)

AJ!...I wouldnt suggest the Blog Troll...I just got REALLY lucky. lol

Vdiz...HAHAHAHAHAHA! Is that what they're calling it? When I walked in on my parents I didnt utter another word about it to ANYONE. lol

Freemanpress...It's not attractive on kids either. lol

Jameil said...

i've written some hilarious stuff while drunk... well i did in college. WHO IS THIS BLOGGER?!? SPILL IT!! "I've only regressed a few times since" had me on the floor. booger-eater!!! my mom explained the "locked door" when my dad was home (he traveled a lot) and i was SO grossed out even with the ambiguity and vagueness. be glad your mom lied.

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