March 24, 2007...12:15pm

The next time I blog, it will be on the other side of my 4th decade.

I will have had passed out somewhere on the Las Vegas S+rip, gotten a teary phone call from my mother, and eaten too much butter cream.

Yessss…ya girl So Easy Weazy’s got a born day coming up, and it’s a biggie.

But ya know, muhfcukas be taking this whole 30’s +he new 20 nonsense too damn far. Maybe it’s just me, but my 20s weren’t all that to be wantin to do a repeat and shit. I mean, like 5th grade was fun as hell, but if I had gotten a note on my last report card that gave me the option to forgo 6th and do it again, I wouldn’t.

Or, you ever make a bomb azz sandwich, and it’s so good you go make another one? And you guessed it…you didn’t quite recreate the whole wheat, light mayo magic.

Even great sex is often better left for that one time only.

Frankly, as I look towards the prospect of God blessing me with another 10 years of life, I am hoping, no… praying for newness. New adventures, new friends, new loves, new insight, new opportunities, new ideas, new blessings.

Because the OLD adventures, friends, loves, insight, opportunities, ideas and blessings are already a part of me. I won’t grow without savoring a new set of tastes.

So here’s my list of 30 Things I’ma Do Now That I’m 3o…

1. Read Invisible Man
...Go to Europe
...Learn the diff btwn a straight and curved mascara brush (then buy the right one (currently using straight))
...See Les Mis
5. Make friends with a famous person
...Start telling young boys to pull up their damn pants (and that chain wallets and glitter belts are 'so 5 years ago' white and gay, respectively)
...Stick with spinning and belly dancing
...BUY good music instead of downloading
...Finish a manuscript
10. Outline my thesis
...Join church
...Invest more aggressively in mutual funds
...Enter the word 'gregarious' into my conversational lingo
...Make a Puerto Rican friend
15. Begin a letter campaign to put pressure on studios to release Webs+er, 15, and Benson on DVD
...Contribute to a political campaign (who am I fooling? Something will happen and I'm gonna get pissed and say eff it and not give a eff until I go vote)
...Get tested for ADD (not to be confused with A1DS, which is what this looks like if you read it fast. PS...I been tested)
...Publish at least 5 articles
...Volunteer at something
20. Make and market a porn flick (starring someone other than me)
...Start the travel group
...Curse in front of my nephews
...Learn to cook curry goat
...Get into a good fist fight
25. Pitch the Pilot
...No more perms (I'm already 3 months in!)
...Make Amends with the Ex Con
...Fcuk him and get it out of my system
...Spend a lot of money on a handbag
30. Wear slutty clothes and kiss random boys in front of my big brothers:)

Honorable Mention:

1. Stop drinking on an empty stomach (I vowed this when I turned 21, too)

...Get a 30 & Over Club card and hit up the Ashford and Simpson show with Amadeo.

Shout out to all my fellow Aries!