On The Couch

Jameil has been getting her Barb Walters on this week. And I am officially on the couch…

1) what is the stupidest thing you did in your 20s?


The stupidest thing I did in my 20s was not purchasing the co-op I rented when I first moved to NYC.

::squiggly lines, squiggly lines::

I got off the D train at a stop in Brooklyn that I never heard of and stepped into a neighborhood I had no idea existed. Flatbush. Except this wasn’t rowdy yardies in mesh tanks and open toed sandals, Flatbush, this was residential, upper middle class Flatbush, complete with large homes and lush green lawns (ok, it wasn’t the Hamptons or nothing, but you feel me).

E. 19th St btwn Foster and Newkirk. Beautiful 1 bedroom co-op (which was a pain in the ass to get into. We had to o thru a review board in order to rent from the owners, this really nice Caribbean couple who was cool with my soon to be crazy roommate’s family).

It’s beaaaaauuuuutiful! Hardwood floors and granite countertops and a really large bedroom (the roomie held down the large living room with a Chinese divider thingy).

And I recall my roomie’s dad mentions that maybe one day I’ll buy the place...

It’s $40,000.

Need I even go on? *sigh*

Maybe this isn’t really a mistake, because at 21 years old I didn’t know the first thing about investing, and didn’t know the second thing about how I could ever afford it.

[Honorable Mention: Leaving a job with no plan at age 24. I bounced back and all, but lost a lot in the process, including eventually a true love.]

2) what are the best and worst lines you've ever heard?


I wouldn’t say it was a line, per se, but Memorial Day weekend I was walking down the block after a night out and there was a bunch of people out, just chillin. I walk by a group of guys sitting on a stoop and some muhfcuka GRABS MY ARM. Dudes still do that shit???? And that’s exactly what I said to him, and of course he tried to dismiss me and joke to his boys. But in my imagination, I envision him thinking that I would stop, gaze into his eyes, and bend over right there on the block.

Funny thing is, if I had, I bet his bitch azz wouldn’t know what to do.

The best line I’ve heard in a while was from that sexy ass Mc.Nulty on the Wire. He looks me up and down and asked me if I was married. I said, ‘Wow, did you just propose to me? I think we’re engaged.’ And he said, ‘Let’s do it, man!’ in that drunk/dirty brit accent (which by the way I normally abhor (sorry My Neil))

3) if you could do any job in the world without having to worry about money, what would it be?


I would be my own boss.

Oh, I’m already that?

Um, I would own and operate a media conglomerate.

Oh yeah, and a writer.

Oh, I'm already that?

I'd be a productive one.

4) say your house is on fire and all your pictures and birth certificate, etc are safe, then what's the one thing you take?


I’m practical if nothing else. Sentimental things like a photo of my dad, or my Bible, or journals mean a lot to me, but they’re things I don’t even think about or use on a daily basis.

So I say all that to say I’d take this...


5) what is your favorite thing to buy and that you know you should stop but you just can't?


What should I stop buying but just can’t? Gas! How bout that.

Well, I’m fairly thrifty, but I must say that I spend a bit much on shit for the house. Like, get me in T@rget and it’s a wrap. Ditto with food. If you have a Wegman’s grocery store in your town, then you know what I’m sayin.

I also tend to go spend well beyond my means when traveling. Speaking of traveling…

bonus: tell us one thing that should've stayed in vegas but you're going to tell us anyway! :)

Um…I’ll keep it brief…

Me, at the spa, after a sauna and hot stone massage, naked in the hot tub, much to the delight of a group of Midwesterners.

Sorry, no photos. :(

PS...If you wanna be intvw'd I'll try:)