BETTER OFF A HOLIDAY

I just think we’re thinking about this all the wrong way. As usual.

I’m not saying he’s better off dead (per se), but I just think the legacy of M-L-K is much stronger than the man himself would have ever lived to be. AND we got a day off out of it. AND there are black commercials on TV. AND parades. AND black actors standing poised against black backdrops and King speech video loops, chin raised high amongst the clouds, espousing of our greatness as interpreted by the Black Jesus. Ngga, he SAVED us. He is worthy.

However, why do we always hear, “Dr. K. would have been 106 years old today.” It’s an absurd notion. It’s a sad shame that brother got popped out on a balcony by a sniper and shit. That a family was without a father and husband. That the negroes were left without a savior. And so young. And in his prime.

I think the man was remarkable, and I say that, for once, without the slightest hint of sarcasm.

I just think that his legacy today is far greater than his life would have been if he lived to be 106.

So explore with me if you will…What might have been, if he had not been murked...

1. Inevitably, he woulda did a Cadillac commercial. Without a doubt. And the African American Image purists woulda been LIVID.

2. American history would be robbed of the legacy of 1968. After King’s death over 100 cities across the country were literally on fire, from Watts to my town of BMore. That year is widely considered the most volatile ever. But let’s be real for a second. How many black folks CAME UP during the riots?? Looting and whatnot. This was more of a shot in the arm to Black American Economy than any Civil Rights policy EVER was. Dr. K would have wanted it that way.

3. He would have knocked up the white chick.

4. He would have run for President, I’m guessing around ’76. He would have lost miserably during the primaries to the man who would become the least significant President ever. What kinda moron are you if you lose to J. Carter?!

5. He would have done a horrible cameo on Diff’rent Strokes. It wouldn’t even be a 2-parter or a Very Special episode. Just some lame Peace in the Streets plea btwn Arnold and the Gooch.

6. He’d have gone through an afro phase. And Lord knows he didn’t have the forehead for it.

7. (If you were born after 1984 cover your ears) Remember back in the early 80s when award shows were super glamorous, and it was a big deal who the stars brought with them? Like when Michael Jackson brought the chimp that one time? Why do I have a feeling ML would have accompanied like Paul Simon and them African singers he be having with him. Then there’d be pressure to go on the Soul Train awards and shit… NAACP… Vibe…Source…Downhill.

8. His megachurch empire (cuz you know he’d have one), would be under scrutiny and uncover some demons ala Swaggert and Baker.

9. He’d refuse to take sides in the MJ vs. Prince debate and would lose credibility with black folks.

10. …But he’d be front and center in a protest against NWA & Eff the Police.

11. Hello! No January 3-day weekend. And we wouldn’t have my fav commercial of all time… “If you light a candle, for everything he’s done…”

12. He’d be a lock for a guest spot in the ‘Welcome to Atlanta’ video.

13. The gratuitous Puffy remix and subsequent Russell.Simmons power summit appearances.

14. Media showdowns with Farrakhan. No one EVER wins those.

15. Who would we name all those MLK Blvds in cities across the country after? Nipsey Russell Way just doesn’t have the same ring.

16. Oh Black Jesus! Not the MLK book tour, daily Peace & Equality text msgs, late night talk show on TBN, Fitness March dvd box set, Civil Rights action figures (all of this on the brink of personal bankruptcy, you see), nonviolent record label. I can’t.

17. An avid and loyal Atlanta Falcons fan, he’d throw Mike Vick under the proverbial (Montgomery) bus.

18. LBJ mighta pursued re-election, which mighta put Nixon’s presidency in question…and what on EARTH woul journalism students study if not Woodward and Bernstein?

19. There’d be no place for Al.Shaprton, and I sincerely HEART him! (If you’ve never heard his radio show, it’s fanTAStic! Comedy abound)

20. Punching the shit out of a white kid without repercussion after seeing Eyes on the Prize would be a hard sell.

*Bonus...Did you not HEAR me mention the 3-day holiday!! Hope yours was as amazing as mine. :)

[Hey Joy...I really did write this before I left, but my phone wouldnt let me post it. No "intense reprimand," pleeeeease. And Jameil, I totally appreciate your new passive-aggressive approach. Nice touch:)]