I learned something a long time ago, and thank God I did:…not every girl is for every guy…and obviously vice versa. We all, to some degree have TYPES. Check it…
In high school I had a reputation of being a “guy’s girl.” Ya know, the girl who is really cool with guys, is into sports, is really laid back, and tends not to pay much attention to pre-set gender roles. (Sadly, today our sexuality is questioned, but not back then!)
Now I never lacked for attention from guys…there were plenty who appreciated my kind of femininity. But at the same time I was not always attracting the type of guy that I was into. Case in point: Jon Summers*. He was a good friend of my childhood boyfriend, a guy I grew up with. They were very similar, had comparable personalities and interests, so I figured I'd have no problem attracting Jon the same way I had my friend.
So imagine my dismay when I went to a party at their school and Jon was stapled to the corner lip-locked up with this, this, this chick! The general adolescent consensus at the time was that chick was not too bright, and by most estimations, not that attractive either. I was PERPLEXED…and kinda salty.
But bec I liked him, I took for granted what kind of girl that Jon would like without acknowledging that he might have other interests. Maybe he liked ultra-femme, trophy girls. Maybe he liked someone not on his intellectual level, ya know, someone he could teach and mold. Maybe he didn't like chocolate sistas like myself. Who knows!
But the point is that just because I'm hilarious, smart and cute, does not mean that I'm the kind of girl that every guy wants…
Now having said all that…fellas, is there a girl or two in your life, or in your past, who might fall into the same category? You just can't understand why she is not wide open for you? You're smart as hell. Have a promising career and ambition draining from your pores. You keep a tight fade, and you always smell sexy. What’s the deal??
Well it might just be something as simple as her not feeling your “type.” It’s really not much different than the way you process women you meet. You take one look and the possibilities (or impossibilities) become obvious right away.
So don't blame sista…she is clear about what she wants. And it’s not an indictment on your character. Maybe you're just not her “type.”
*name changed slightly, but if you know me then you know I aint really changed much at all!
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4 comments:
Yeah brothers, figure it out then keep the passion moving. The feminine is abundant. You'll get yours. Anonymous Detroit
The ratio of men to women is a WHOLE 'nother post, but I think the point is not necessarily "you'll get yours"...but that you need to stop beating yourself up when a nice girl isnt feeling you. And pls, pls, PLS don't start that "they say they what a nice guy, but...."
Son, you just might not be her type of nice guy. Sometimes it's just that damn simple!
No disagreement here. It took me a little while to find it out but once I began to let go the ego, the self-depreciation diminished. Every brotha needs some form of martial art/warrior code rights of passage or something. I DON'T even complain anymore when I see women saying one thing and doing another. Her energy is like the ocean, expansive, mysterious, unpredictable, restless, stormy sometimes and tranquil at others. It's my job as a ship to remain on course, not be taken under in the storm, navigate the currents, ride the waves and work with nature. Anonymous Detroit.
There is an element of attactraion between two people that - usually you knnow within 5 mintues if you feel it of not. Generally speaking. there is an element of the intangible there. Call it phermones. You can have all the goods but if that invisible, intangible thing isnt there- then you both end up wondering.
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