HOME INVASION: Part II

Management has obtained exclusive transcripts to the recent alleged Home Invasion by Wise's REAL FRIENDS.

Here's what we know...

PROFILE: "Gay Bartender"...
Known her since 4th grade.

Hated her until 6th.

College roommates (what a disaster)

Residence: Brooklyn

Stopped in town en route to interview Comm0n in DC.


PROFILE: "Flavius"...

Origin of friendship unknown, but goes way back to childhood and matured during middle and high school.

Residence: DC...bout to move to NY (but I know deep down that he's gonna effing HATE IT just like he did ATL)

Stopped in town en route to BWI for a 7am flight Tuesday morning down south...for a funeral. Then up north the following day to Upstate NY (home)...for another funeral.

It's decided hours prior that they will both crash at Wise's crib for a classic one-nighter.

I call them Real Friends, not to delineate others as “fake,” but because I just don’t know any better term to describe them. But they remain the benchmark, despite the fact that I only see them on birthdays and perhaps at home at holiday time. Our friendships exist largely through texts, emails and bylines.

These are NOT the people you talk to daily.

Not the ones with which you share weekly Girls Night or Madden Saturdays.

They may not even be the ones on speed dial in case of an emergency.

But they for damn sure are the ones who will UNDERSTAND and INTERNALIZE said emergency when you finally do get around to telling them about it. [And they for damn sure will find the after hours liquor store while on a 7Elev run for Marlb0r0s].

They may not know all your business, but they know YOU, they know where you come from…they just KNOW.

So, even though they were only here for a night (except GB who stumbled back over the next night after Com’s album release)…their place in my heart is everlasting…

***

Flav: "I wouldnt go as far as saying Wise is an alcoholic..."

GB: "...but you know that if you come to her crib on little to no notice, there will be a full bottle, juice and a 12-pack."
===

Flav: "I need to leave DC. I'm nomadic by nature. It's been 5 years, it's cool. But I'm still in love. And I need to get as far as away as possible."
[he and the ex still live together. yikes]

===

GB: "What the fcuk! I'm 30. My credit is flawless. I have savings. And I can't BUY a place in NY. Not only because a studio in the slums costs half a mil, but because on absolutely any day of the week the magazine could get shut down. Then what?"
===

Wise: "I'm gonna go ahead and get to sleep now bec I dont believe what the hell i'm hearing from people I otherwise respect!"

GB: "Look, the mom on M0esha was the shit! Weazy Jefferson, ehhhhh."
===

Flav: "Yo, you realize we were the kids the system invested in. They sent our little Black asses around the world, brought in the best education. But those sons of bitches taught nggas LATIN, taught us how to BE smart, but never not once taught us how to LIVE smart!"
===

Wise: "She had a kid with a sociopath because her dad's one...and she doesnt know him well enough to know what that's like."

Flav: "No, she had a kid with him because her first real love got murdered and she wanted HIS kid."

GB: "Anytime I have the convo about parents, Wise is always the example of our only friend growing up who lived with both parents. You had a dad Wise, so OF COURSE you think that's the answer to everything."

Wise: "Oh you already know I think Dads are the answer to black on black crime, poverty, all that."
===

GB: "Heredity is a muhfcukah! Both of you are the antithesis of your parents, yet the absolute embodiment of them at the same time."

Wise: "And I suppose your sexuality is the embodiment of your mother's resentment."
===

GB: "Can somebody look in the kitchen for my boots!"

===

My mother always says, "When you find a real friend, hold on to them for dear life."

I couldnt get rid of these muhfcukas if I tried. And they just KNOW it.